A Life of Resurrections

Below is a holiday archive edition of our Message of Faith. Enjoy the wisdom of Fr. Alex Manville from nearly 40 years ago!

I woke up this morning. And said thanks. Thanks for this morning, thanks for all the mornings I’ve awakened to. Every one a resurrection, a new life. No matter the past, it all starts from now. And no matter how I feel. Being able to feel is the important thing.

There’ve been other resurrections: from the womb, from childhood, from youth, the toughest, but maybe not; they’ve all felt tough going through them. One thing is for sure, this one’s the best, just as each of them has been better than the one before. Middle of the seventh decade: lots of death and dying, but more of waking and rising – and all of it pure gift, both the dying and the being lifted up.

There’s more to it. Not all moving on is moving up. We can grow older and smarter without rising to real newness – like Lazarus coming out of the tomb, the same ol’ Lazarus in contrast to Jesus coming out changed. The difference lies in whether or not we’re willing to die, whether or not we’re willing to give up our self-importance, our self-image, our pitiful struggle to control.

I get the normal pangs of regret. Maybe I should’ve done this, or not done that. But why dwell on it? There haven’t been many mistakes I haven’t been able to live beyond. And while a lot of youthful dreams got lost somewhere – I can’t even remember most of them – I find I’m turning out the person I always wanted to be. I like it – me. Thank God for God, to thank if nothing else. I’d never have made it if I hadn’t surrendered control. And dropped a lot of baggage.

But it always starts with waking up in the morning. Another chance in becoming the person I’ll always be and want always to be. THE resurrection, the big one, lies down the road somewhere. But the who who’ll be raised up then is being determined by the resurrections I’m participating or not participating in right now. That’s the person I’m going to be forever, and as the old gent said, “Forever is a right smart piece of time.” Meanwhile, God, for his own weird reason, has had mercy on this slow learner and given me this one more day to let go a bit and be raised a bit. He obviously believes in me.

A special thanks for that, Lord.

Fr. Alex Manville OFM